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You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.

You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you. 1Bqn
Dear Sir, I would like to enquire about the availability of a few electronic goods that I am interested in purchasing. I am looking for two items: Samsung laptop and Samsung mobile phone. I am not quite sure about the model numbers and I prefer your valuable advice in this scenario. At first, I need to know if these two items are available at your shop. Otherwise, in the situation where the goods are out of stock, would you be able to order it for me? Once the availability of goods are confirmed, please inform me about the pricing. After that, I will decide on purchasing the items. However, once I confirm to purchase the items, would you be able to hold the goods for me? If yes, please mention the time period until when you can hold the goods. I am staying a little farther from your shop and hence, it will be highly appreciated if you could help me in this regard. Looking forward to receiving a response at the earliest, Yours faithfully, Nancy John
Dear Sir,

I would like to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about the availability of a few electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that I
am interested
in purchasing. I am looking for two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
: Samsung laptop and Samsung mobile phone.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am not quite sure about the model numbers and I prefer your valuable advice in this scenario.

At
first
, I need to know if these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are available at your shop.
Otherwise
, in the situation where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are out of stock, would you be able to order it for me? Once the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are confirmed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
inform me about the pricing. After that, I will decide on purchasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
However
, once I confirm to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, would you be able to hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
for me? If yes,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
mention the time period until when you can hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. I am staying a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
farther from your shop and
hence
, it will be
highly
appreciated if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me in this regard.

Looking forward to receiving a response at the earliest,

Yours
faithfully
,

Nancy John
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IELTS letter You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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