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You work in a company that used to make sports results every year, but this year you didn't settle

You work in a company that used to make sports results every year, but this year you didn't settle NVdWm
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing this letter to explain why our company is not conducting an health event this year. As you know that last year was a hard year for everyone in the universe why not? if its a year where the small virus which called COVID-19 changed the whole live! . Since our company is a Start-Up its Revenue very effected and decreased by the virus. Now in this year we are gradually going back to normal and we focus on raising our Capital between investing and borrowing Activities and we expected a high growth by the end of this year. Helping people to have a happy life and live with a good health, This is our mission since we start in 2019. We have lunched many events talking about how workouts help the body on managing blood pressure and supporting wight loss. Also its assist mental health by reducing stress and put people on a better mood, and we see how our event helps society and we promises to Continue our nice journey in the next year. Thank you for understanding our situation Yours faithfully, Reema
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is not conducting
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
this year.

As you know that last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
for everyone in the universe why not?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
a
It is better to use 'year' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "year when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
year where
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
virus which called COVID-19
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
!
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Since our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Start
-Up its Revenue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effected and decreased by the virus.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
we are
gradually
going back to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
normal and
we focus on raising our Capital between investing and borrowing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Activities and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
a high growth by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this year.

Helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have a happy life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health, This is our mission since we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in 2019. We have lunched
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
talking about how workouts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the body on managing blood pressure and supporting wight loss.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
its assist mental health by reducing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on a better mood, and we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
we
The pronoun 'we' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "promise"
promises
to Continue our nice journey in the
next
year.

Thank you for understanding our situation

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Reema

IELTS letter You work in a company that used to make sports results every year, but this year you didn't settle

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
188 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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