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You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months • say how your work could be done while you are away • ask for his/her help in arranging it

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months • say how your work could be done while you are away • ask for his/her help in arranging it y0Xg
Dear Jhon, I am writing this in order to attain your attention for my placement in our main branch in Canada. Let me explain whole scenario to you in details. I intend to work for main branch for six months because it would provide me with work experience in a diverse country. I am asking this favour as my main duties are relevant to customers dealing who are Canada based. By directly working there, it would enhance my ability to focus on my work fully as I can arrange physical meetings with our clients instead of visual ones that I do here. In addition, by appointing me in main office there will be no loss of my work instead my progress will improve. I hope, by considering all above circumstances, you will help me to arrange my placement by opening a new position or by transferring me with existing post. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. yours faithfully,
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jhon
,

I am writing this in order to attain your attention for my placement in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
branch in Canada.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
whole scenario to you in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

I intend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
branch for six months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would provide me with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience in a diverse country. I am asking this
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
as my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
duties are relevant to customers dealing who are Canada based. By
directly
working there, it would enhance my ability to focus on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
fully
as I can arrange physical meetings with our clients
instead
of visual ones that I do here.

In addition
, by appointing me in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
office there will be no loss of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
instead
my progress will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

I hope, by considering all above circumstances, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to arrange my placement by opening a new position or by transferring me with existing post.

Looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
yours
faithfully
,
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IELTS letter You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months • say how your work could be done while you are away • ask for his/her help in arranging it

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain why you want to work in the company's head office for six months • say how your work could be done while you are away • ask for his/her help in arranging it