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You were offered to join a company but for some reasons, you can not join there. v.3

You were offered to join a company but for some reasons, you can not join there. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I would like to thank you for the opportunity to join your company. Regrettably, due to the prevailing situation in my present organisation, I cannot accept the offer right now. However, I am hoping to be a part of your company some time in the future. In my present organisation, I have recently been given a chance to manage an important long-term project and I think this is the right time to portray my capabilities to the company. It not only paves over for my organisational development but also for my personal growth. In this juncture, bidding adieu to my present employer is not the right decision and I once again express my heartfelt gratitude for the belief you have on me and for giving me the offer. However, my current employer has recently requested me to carry on with them and I am grateful to them for the growth opportunity they have given me so far. I like the way this company manages big clients and a healthy work environment they offer. Please do consider my humble request and I am extremely sorry for declining the job offer. However, I would like to work with you in the coming days and I am hoping that you would consider me a potential employee sometime in the future. Yours faithfully, Prasadarao Talluri
Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to thank you for the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Regrettably
, due to the prevailing situation in my present
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, I cannot accept the offer right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
However
, I am hoping to be a part of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time in the future.

In my present
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, I have recently been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to manage an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
long-term project and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the right time to portray my capabilities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
paves over for my
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for my personal growth. In this juncture, bidding adieu to my present employer is not the right decision and I once again express my heartfelt gratitude for the belief you have on me and for giving me the offer.
However
, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
employer has recently requested me to carry on with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
I am grateful to them for the growth opportunity they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far. I like the way this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
manages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
clients and a healthy work environment they offer.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
do consider my humble
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
request and
I am
extremely
sorry for declining the job offer.
However
, I would like to work with you in the coming
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
days and
I am hoping that you would consider me a potential employee sometime in the future.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Prasadarao
Possible spelling mistake found.
Talluri
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS letter You were offered to join a company but for some reasons, you can not join there. v. 3

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
224 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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