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You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. v.4

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. v. 4

Dear Mr Harry, I am writing to you about the possibility of taking 12 days off work in order to complete my thesis and final exams for my Master’s degree in Finance from the University of Manchester. I am hoping that you would grant me leave from 17th July to 28th July 2020. I have almost finished my thesis, which I must submit to my teacher by July 24th. I need some time to completely finish it and to prepare for the upcoming exams. Hence I am asking for your permission to take time off work. I can assure you that I would check my emails daily, perhaps reply to some of them and be available for emergency phone calls from the office. Once I complete my exams and get back to the office, I would endeavour to come into the office earlier than usual and work Sundays in order to catch up on anything I had missed. I have already talked to Ethan and he is ready to share some of the responsibilities during my absence. I realise my temporary absence could be an inconvenience to you and the rest of the team, but I really need to take the leave to complete my Master’s degree qualification. I am looking forward to hearing from you and expecting your kind cooperation. Yours sincerely, Susanne Dvorak

Dear Mr Harry,

I am writing to you about the possibility of taking 12 days off work in order to complete my thesis and final exams for my Master’s degree in Finance from the University of Manchester. I am hoping that you would grant me This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :depart
leave
 from 17th July to 28th July 2020.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
 have almost finished my thesis, which I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
must
 submit to my teacher by July 24th. Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
 need This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 time to completely finish it and to prepare for the upcoming exams. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Hence,
Hence
 I am asking for your permission to take time off work.

I can assure you that I would This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :monitor
check
 my emails daily, perhaps reply to This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 of them and be available for emergency phone calls from the office. Once I complete my exams and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 back to the office, I would Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.endeavor
endeavour
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :approacharrive
come
 into the office earlier than usual and work Sundays in order to catch up on anything I had missed. I have already talked to Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).Ethan, and
Ethan and
 he is ready to share If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?some
some of the
 responsibilities during my absence.

I Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.realize
realise
 my temporary absence could be an inconvenience to you and the rest of the team, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 I really
 need to take the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :depart
leave
 to complete my Master’s degree qualification.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
 am looking forward to hearing from you and expecting your kind cooperation.

Yours sincerely
,

Susanne Dvorak

1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS letter You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. v. 4

Letter

American English

8 paragraphs

224 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 5.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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