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You went to watch a movie in a nearby cinema hall recently, You found that the hall was in poor condition. Write a letter to the manager of the cinema hall.

You went to watch a movie in a nearby cinema hall recently, You found that the hall was in poor condition. Write a letter to the manager of the cinema hall. 63KG
Dear Patel, Most of movie I watched in your cinema. My experience related to it very satisfactory and enjoyable but I felt very inconvenience last night. I went there with my friend. We was booked show night last. When we entered in hall we felt very distracting because floor was not proper clean and unwanted smell feeling difficult to event seat. However we were start watching but mean while sound was not proper set and play we were concern person but not rectify it. In more air condition was not performing well so, air circulation was not good therefore felt suffocation It is hard to sit for two-hour. I felt very disappoint with your service and amenities. I think hall need immediately maintenance and update technologies. Also You should al least take care for public basic facilities. I hope you look into the matter personally and do the necessary. Yours sincerely, Jignesh
Dear Patel,

Consider using "Most movie" or "Most of the movie".
Most of movie
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
in your cinema. My experience related to it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
satisfactory and enjoyable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
inconvenience last night.

I went there with my friend. We
Use first person plural verb with 'we': "are", "were".
was
booked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
night last. When we entered in hall we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
distracting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
floor was not proper clean and unwanted smell feeling difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
seat.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
we were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "meanwhile"?
mean while
sound was not proper set and play we were concern person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not rectify it. In more air condition was not performing well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, air circulation was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
suffocation It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to sit for two-hour. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disappoint with your service and amenities.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
hall need immediately maintenance and update technologies.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
You should al
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
take care for public basic facilities.

I hope you look into the matter
personally
and do the necessary.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Jignesh
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IELTS letter You went to watch a movie in a nearby cinema hall recently, You found that the hall was in poor condition. Write a letter to the manager of the cinema hall.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
151 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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