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You want to go to Winston University to do a degree in history.

You want to go to Winston University to do a degree in history. p5JbL
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to apply for a place on the History course which commences this September at Winston University. I am 27 years old and I have completed a Bachelorʼs degree in history at Cambridge University which I recieved my first class honours. Prior to this I was a pupil at specialized boarding school called Aristocrats in London, where I obtained 9 GCSEs and three A levels in Archaeology, Geography and Latin. Since the completion of my BA I have spent two years working as an independent researcher in the government volunteer club called Herodot and as a teacher at a comprehensive school in London. During this period I carried out researcher into the cultural life of the Asian people under control of Professor Charles Clarke. This work was extremely enjoyable and I am now anxious to specialized by gaining further qualifications before embarking on my chosen career in this field. I enclose a detailed curriculum vitae in the hope that you will consider my application for entry. I look forward to receiving your response in the near future. Yours faithfully, Jill Holland
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to apply for a place on the History course which commences this September at Winston University. I am 27 years
old
and I have completed a
Bachelorʼs
degree in history at Cambridge University which I
recieved
my
first
class
honours
. Prior to this I was a pupil at specialized boarding school called Aristocrats in London, where I obtained 9
GCSEs
and three
A levels
in Archaeology, Geography and Latin. Since the completion of my BA I have spent two years working as an independent researcher in the
government
volunteer club called
Herodot
and as a teacher at a comprehensive school in London. During this period I carried out researcher into the cultural life of the Asian
people
under control of Professor Charles Clarke. This work was
extremely
enjoyable and
I am
now
anxious to specialized by gaining
further
qualifications
before
embarking on my chosen career in this field. I enclose a detailed curriculum vitae in the hope that you will consider my application for entry. I look forward to receiving your response in the near future. Yours
faithfully
, Jill
Holland
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IELTS letter You want to go to Winston University to do a degree in history.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
184 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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