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You saw a job vacancy on a newspper, write a letter applying for the job

You saw a job vacancy on a newspper, write a letter applying for the job XnqJg
Dear sir, I am writing to apply for the position of a secretary which was advertised in the Sun Newspaper dated 18th of November. I hold a B. Sc in Mass communication and also currently running a masters degree in Organizational Communications in the university of Lagos. I have a wealth of experience in secretarial duties as I have worked in two different multinational companies in Lagos and in London. I sure I will be able to take on any secretarial duties perfectly. Enclosed in this letter is a detailed copy of curriculum vitae for your perusal. Thank you in anticipation and I hope to hear from soon. Yours Sincerely, Mercy Ikpi
Dear sir, I am writing to apply for the position of a secretary which
was advertised
in the Sun Newspaper dated 18th of November. I hold a
Consider using a more common abbreviation of this university degree.
B. Sc
in Mass communication and
also
currently
running a
For an academic degree, use "master’s".
masters
degree in Organizational Communications in the university of Lagos. I have a wealth of experience in secretarial duties as I have worked in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in Lagos and in London.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
sure I will be able to take on any secretarial duties
perfectly
. Enclosed in this letter is a detailed copy of curriculum vitae for your perusal. Thank you in anticipation and I hope to hear from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Yours
Sincerely
, Mercy
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Ikpi
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IELTS letter You saw a job vacancy on a newspper, write a letter applying for the job

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
111 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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