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You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up.

You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. mwW1
Dear Sir, Mountains are highest viewpoint in the whole environment. Walking through hills is a pleasure and exciting thing to do. This letter is in regards to one-week walking tour in the Jimharden mountains and The following are my view and doubts I have for this tour. First of all I have immense interest in this tour. From my childhood I have keen interest with the trekking and walk to the peek places. I have developed an goal to walk through mountains from my childhood. Because of my goal I am very much interested in this tour. Second of all, the Brochure does not say any details about the schedule of the tour, Day-to-day activities. Is the accomodation included in the package or not? What are the price for individuals, children and groups of members? Are there any discounts? Lastly, I am not perfectly fit for this tour. Recently, I was met with an accident and has undergone 8 weeks of bed rest. Due to this I am not 100% fit and worried whether I would be able to take part this grand walking tour or not. It would be be of extreme aid if you can send swift response to the above all questions and also provide solution to my problem of fitness. Yours Sincerely, Pranith
Dear Sir,

Mountains are
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
viewpoint in the whole environment. Walking through hills is a pleasure and exciting thing to do. This letter is
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
one-week walking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jimharden
mountains and The following are my view and doubts I have for this tour.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
I have immense interest in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
. From my childhood I have keen interest with the trekking and walk to the peek places. I have developed
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
goal to walk through mountains from my childhood.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of my goal I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much interested in this tour.

Second of all, the Brochure does not say any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the schedule of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
, Day-to-day activities. Is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
included in the package or not? What are the price for individuals, children and groups of members? Are there any discounts?

Lastly
, I am not
perfectly
fit for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
. Recently, I
was met
with an accident and has undergone 8 weeks of bed rest. Due to this I am not 100% fit and worried whether I would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
this grand walking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
or not.

It would be
Consider using the past participle "been"?
be
of extreme aid if you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
swift response to the
above all
questions and
also
provide solution to my problem of fitness.

Yours
Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Pranith
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IELTS letter You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up.

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
216 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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