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You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.

You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level. GMLMj
DEAR SIR THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME YOUR BROCHURE. I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO TAKE A TOUR IN THE MOUNTAINS EVER SINCE ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS TOOK A TOUR IN THE MOUNTAINS COUPLE OF YEARS AGO. I WAS THRILLED AFTER HEARING HIS EXPERIENCE IN THE MOUNTAINS. I WILL BE GLAD IF YOU COULD SEND ME DETAILS OF THAT TOUR INCLUDING DATES AND PRICES, I. E. WHAT ARE INCLUDED IN THE PACKAGE. FURTHERMORE, ADVISE ME IF I NEED ANY PREPARATION FOR THIS TOUR. ONE THING I MUST ADD. I THINK MY FITNESS LEVEL IS NOT AT PAR LEVEL OF A MOUNTAIN HIKER. AFTER BEING INFECTED BY COVID-19 VIRUS I FEEL EXHAUSTED DURING EVENINGS AND NIGHTS. I HAVE BEEN DOING SOME EXERCISES AS PER DOCTORS ADVICE. THEREFORE, I AM REQUESTING YOU TO GIVE ADVICE UPON MY FITNESS LEVEL REGARDING SUITABILITY FOR THIS TOUR. I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU. IF YOU HAVE ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS, PLEASE CONTACT ME. YOURS FAITHFULLY.
DEAR SIR

THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME YOUR BROCHURE.

I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO TAKE A TOUR IN THE MOUNTAINS EVER SINCE ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS TOOK A TOUR IN THE MOUNTAINS COUPLE OF YEARS AGO. I
WAS THRILLED
AFTER HEARING HIS EXPERIENCE IN THE MOUNTAINS.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
WILL BE GLAD IF YOU COULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEND
ME
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
DETAILS
OF THAT TOUR INCLUDING DATES AND PRICES,
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
I. E.
WHAT
ARE INCLUDED
IN THE PACKAGE.
FURTHERMORE
, ADVISE ME IF I NEED ANY PREPARATION FOR THIS TOUR.

ONE THING I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MUST
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ADD
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THINK
MY FITNESS LEVEL IS NOT AT PAR LEVEL OF A MOUNTAIN HIKER. AFTER
BEING INFECTED
BY COVID-19 VIRUS I FEEL EXHAUSTED DURING EVENINGS AND NIGHTS. I HAVE BEEN DOING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
EXERCISES AS PER DOCTORS ADVICE.
THEREFORE
, I AM REQUESTING YOU TO GIVE ADVICE UPON MY FITNESS LEVEL REGARDING SUITABILITY FOR THIS TOUR.

I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU.

IF YOU HAVE ANY
FURTHER
QUESTIONS,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PLEASE
CONTACT ME.

YOURS
FAITHFULLY
.
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IELTS letter You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You saw a brochure for a one-week walking tour in the mountains. You're very interested in taking part, but you're not very fit and are worried you wouldn't be able to keep up. Write to the tour operator. In your letter: • Explain why you're interested in the tour. • Ask for information about dates and prices. • Express your concerns about your fitness level.