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You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job 2bKEj
Dear Hoa, I hope you’re well and thank for writing to me. And I just wanted to write a quick letter to tell you that you should get a job instead of going on an university. As a student who finished academic courses, I want you to know that university education has mainly focused on theoretic concepts instead of practical knowledge, this has caused unemployment for most graduate students. Furthermore, most students seem enjoying parties and early relationships with opposite-sex classmates but not pursuing university education, which can distract you from the whole university time. Having a job can help you not only gain practical knowledge but also earn money early while other students are still sitting at the school with their financial burden of tuition. This’ll be an obviously advantageous choice to embark on your careers early. You’re very good at using computer graphics. Why don’t you apply for an advertisement business? . It’ll be definitely a good option to gain advertising experience before you can run your own company. I hope you’ll consider to make the best choice. Best regards, An
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoa
,

I hope you’re well and thank for writing to me. And I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wanted to write a quick letter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you that you should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job
instead
of going on
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
university.

As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who finished academic courses, I want you to know that university education has
mainly
focused on theoretic concepts
instead
of practical knowledge, this has caused unemployment for most graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Furthermore
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
seem enjoying parties and early relationships with opposite-sex classmates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not pursuing university education, which can distract you from the whole university time.

Having a job can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gain practical knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
earn money early while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
still
sitting at the school with their financial burden of tuition. This’ll be an
obviously
advantageous choice to embark on your careers early.

You’re
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at using computer graphics. Why don’t you apply for an advertisement business?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
It’ll be definitely a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option to gain advertising experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you can run your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

I hope you’ll consider to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best choice.

Best regards,

An
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IELTS letter You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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