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You recently bought a piece of equipment for your home but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter describe the problem with the equipment ? explain what happened when you phoned the shop? say what you would like the manager to do

You recently bought a piece of equipment for your home but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter describe the problem with the equipment? explain what happened when you phoned the shop? say what you would like the manager to do YQ6K
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing my dissatisfaction with the Panasonic - vacuum cleaner model number 7676 which I brought from your store on 10th of this month. We were in need of a vacuum cleaner and decided to buy the above mentioned model over the recommendation made by your In-store sales expert. I was extremely happy with the purchase. Unfortunately, upon using it for the very first time, I found out that the wire in broken and to make matters worse, reset button is damaged. As we did opt for extended warranty at the time of purchase, I made a call on the mentioned number to enquire about the refund / replace procedure. I was reassured by the sales agent that I will get a call back from support team within 4 working hours but I regret to inform you that I have not received any communication since then. I am exceedingly displeased with the quality of product as well as poor service I have received since. I therefore suggest that I be given a full refund or a replacement vacuum cleaner as soon as possible. I look forward to hearing back from you immediately. Yours’ faithfully, Mr. Khurram Khan
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing my dissatisfaction with the Panasonic
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
vacuum cleaner model number 7676 which I brought from your store on 10th of this month.

We were in need of a vacuum cleaner and decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the above mentioned model over the recommendation made by your In-store sales expert. I was
extremely
happy with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. Unfortunately, upon using it for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
time, I found out that the wire in broken and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters worse, reset button
is damaged
.

As we did opt for extended warranty at the time of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
, I made a call on the mentioned number to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about the refund / replace procedure. I
was reassured
by the sales agent that I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a call back from support team within 4 working hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I regret to inform you that I have not received any communication since then.

I am
exceedingly
displeased with the quality of product
as well
as poor service I have received since.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
therefore
suggest that I be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a full refund or a replacement vacuum cleaner as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
look forward to hearing back from you immediately.

An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: "Yours"?
Yours’
faithfully
,

Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khurram
Khan

IELTS letter You recently bought a piece of equipment for your home but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter describe the problem with the equipment? explain what happened when you phoned the shop? say what you would like the manager to do

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You recently bought a piece of equipment for your home but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter describe the problem with the equipment ? explain what happened when you phoned the shop? say what you would like the manager to do