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You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it.

Dear manager I am behnoosh khammar, your digital store customer. Recently, I have been called by your company’s sales secretary regarding my conditions for buying a camera according to my scores. For this reason, I bought a camera via your company website last week. Additionally I chose the delivery time after one week because I was traveling. Moreover, the model of this camera is a840 from canon brand. Unfortunately, box which has been sent for me through the post office was distorted and some important part of camera such as, hot shoe, lens cap and camera bag were missing in box. I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with your services. Obviously, you need to make changes in the management and service of your company. In fact, the weaker the management, the more customers you will be loos. In addition, about my issue, this problem could be addressed by two ways; you can send a new camera for me or you early arrange for a full refund. I hope we can resolve this smoothly. Sincerely, Behnoosh khammar
Dear manager

I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
behnoosh
Possible spelling mistake found.
khammar
, your digital store customer. Recently, I have
been called
by your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s sales secretary regarding my conditions for buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
according to my scores.
For this reason
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
via your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
website last week.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
I chose the delivery time after one week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was traveling.
Moreover
, the model of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
is a840 from canon brand.

Unfortunately, box which has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
for me through the post office
was distorted
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
such as, hot shoe, lens cap and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
bag were missing in box.

I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction with your services.
Obviously
, you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the management and service of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. In fact, the weaker the management, the more customers you will be loos.
In addition
, about my issue, this problem could
be addressed
by two ways; you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
for me or you early arrange for a full refund. I hope we can resolve this
smoothly
.

Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Behnoosh
Possible spelling mistake found.
khammar
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IELTS letter You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it.

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it.