Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items missing from the box. Write to the representative of the company. In your letter Give details of the camera and where you bought it Explain what has happened Say what you want him/her to do about it

You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items missing from the box. Write to the representative of the company. In your letter Give details of the camera and where you bought it Explain what has happened Say what you want him/her to do about it 9Wrr
Dear Sir/Madam, I am Hilton and I am writing this letter to get accessories of my camera which I have missed collecting while I bought it from the croma store in the Copenhagen. I visited Denmark last month with my friends. In this tour we had visited electronics market in the Copenhagen from where I bought a Digital camera. This camera is Phase One IXM which is black in colour. When we were in the croma, we had purchased many gadgets from the store. But, my friend Ray suddenly had stomach cramps consequently we immediately rush to the hospital and forgot to check accessories in the box. When I reached home I found that camera’s charging cable and lenses are missing. I am not able to use my camera without charging, so I would prefer to have both items as soon as possible with me. So, the quickest way is to handover it to my friend who is still there in Denmark and returning here next week. I have asked him to get it collected from your store. I will share invoice with him so that you can look over it with your staff members. Thanking you in advance and I am hoping to get support from your side. Yours Faithfully, Hilton
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Hilton and
I am writing this letter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accessories of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
which I have missed collecting while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
croma
store in the Copenhagen.

I visited Denmark last month with my friends. In this tour we had visited electronics market in the Copenhagen from where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a Digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
is Phase One
Possible spelling mistake found.
IXM
which is
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
black in colour
. When we were in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
croma
, we had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
gadgets from the store.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, my friend Ray
suddenly
had stomach cramps
consequently
we immediately rush to the hospital and forgot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
accessories in the box. When I reached home I found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera’s
charging cable and lenses are missing. I am not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
without charging,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I would prefer to have both items as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible with me.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the quickest way is to handover it to my friend who is
still
there in Denmark and returning here
next
week. I have asked him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it collected from your store. I will share invoice with him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you can look over it with your staff members.

Thanking you in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
advance and
I am hoping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
support from your side.

Yours
Faithfully
,

Hilton
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items missing from the box. Write to the representative of the company. In your letter Give details of the camera and where you bought it Explain what has happened Say what you want him/her to do about it

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
211 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items missing from the box. Write to the representative of the company. In your letter Give details of the camera and where you bought it Explain what has happened Say what you want him/her to do about it