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you organized the90th birthday party for a relative in a hotel. Many elderly guest attended the party which was a great success. write letter to thank hotel manager.* give details of the party * the reason why party was so successful *mention a staff who helped alot

you organized the90th birthday party for a relative in a hotel. Many elderly guest attended the party which was a great success. write letter to thank hotel manager. * give details of the party * the reason why party was so successful *mention a staff who helped alot kKA8
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to draw your attention towards the overwhelming service I received from your hotel staff on a birthday party. It was my grandfather's 90th birthday and we held celebrations for the same in your hotel. It was the gathering of about 35 persons, close family members and friends. In evening program on day before yesterday all the close friends of my grandfather joined here and they all were admiring your services and hospitality. I must say this is your planned service and controlled overview over a minute detail of the event which made it a huge success. As I organised it for my grandfather but at last minute a meeting at my office made me worried about the event but all thanks goes to you and your staff members who took their responsibilities so well that made me to forget my all worries. One of the staff member in serving staff team Mr. Garry, he was the main person who arranged the all services fast as per the requirements of invitees whether it was of serving welcome drinks or food. He did an excellent job. I hope you will continue in giving such amazing services in future also. Yours faithfullyRobert
Dear Sir, I am writing this letter to draw your attention towards the overwhelming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
I received from your hotel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
on a birthday party. It was my grandfather's 90th
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
birthday and
we held celebrations for the same in your hotel. It was the gathering of about 35 persons, close family members and friends. In evening program on day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
yesterday all the close friends of my grandfather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
here and
they all were admiring your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and hospitality. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say this is your planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and controlled overview over a minute detail of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
which made it a huge success. As I
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
it for my grandfather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at last minute a meeting at my office made me worried about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all thanks goes to you and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
members who took their responsibilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
well that made me to forget my all worries. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
member in serving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
team Mr. Garry, he was the main person who arranged the all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as per the requirements of invitees whether it was of serving welcome drinks or food. He did an excellent job. I hope you will continue in giving such amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in future
also
. Yours
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
faithfullyRobert

IELTS letter you organized the90th birthday party for a relative in a hotel. Many elderly guest attended the party which was a great success. write letter to thank hotel manager. * give details of the party * the reason why party was so successful *mention a staff who helped alot

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
205 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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