Dear Sir,
My name is Jim, third year student at your esteemed college and I am writing this letter to bring it your attention that I find extremely difficult to concentrate on my studies in the dorm assigned to me.
The dorm itself is not only open, refreshing and airy but it is also pretty pleasant to study and work on my project work. However, I have been facing issues with my new roommate. He has made total nuisance in our space.
My previous roommate recently left to another college and the accommodation is assigned to a new student. He is extremely outgoing and outspoken person, who likes to party and play music all night. As a result of that, I am not able to sleep well at night and not able to study in class. My whole routine has turned upside down because of his habits.
I would like you to consider allocating me a similar dorm with someone who is sensible and humble towards others. It would be absolutely beneficial to improve my concentration and academic records.
I hope to hear back from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Jim
Dear Sir,
My name is Jim, third year student at your esteemed  
college and
 I am writing this letter to bring it your attention that I find  
extremely
 difficult to concentrate on my studies in the dorm assigned to me.
The dorm itself is not  
only
 open, refreshing and airy  
but
 it is  
also
 pretty pleasant to study and work on my project work.  
However
, I have been facing issues with my new roommate. He has made total nuisance in our space.
My previous roommate recently  
left
 to another college and the accommodation  
is assigned
 to a new student. He is  
extremely
 outgoing and outspoken person, who likes to party and play music all night.  
As a result
 of that, I am not able to sleep well at night and not able to study in  
class
. My whole routine has turned upside down  
because
 of his habits.
I would like you to consider allocating me a similar dorm with someone who is sensible and humble towards others. It would be  
absolutely
 beneficial to  
improve
 my concentration and academic records.
I hope to hear back from you  
soon
.
Yours  
sincerely
,
Jim