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You live in a room in college which you share another student. There are many problems with arrangement

You live in a room in college which you share another student. There are many problems with arrangement 2KPM6
Dear sirI am writing to complain about a room in college which I share with another student. I study phylology faculty and I need peaceful place because I must read a large number of books. I must learn works of different poets and Writers but I can not read these books. The first reason is my roommate studies music faculty. He makes loud noise and bothers my doing lesson. He must learn musical instruments so that he plays the guitar and violin. I do not like noise. it bothers me to concentrate my views. The second reason is his character. He is very heavy, does not say a word a day. I am very bored and I can not change my opinions, experience with him. If it is possible. Move me another room or my roommate. If My new roommate studies phylology faculty. it will be ok. I hope you will help me. Yours faithfully Bobur
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
sirI
Did you mean "am I"?
am
writing to complain about a room in college which I share with another student. I study
Possible spelling mistake found.
phylology
faculty and I need peaceful place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
read
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
books. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn works of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
poets and Writers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I can not read these books. The
first
reason is my roommate studies music faculty. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
loud noise and bothers my doing lesson. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn musical instruments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he plays the guitar and violin. I do not like noise.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
bothers me to concentrate my views. The second reason is his character. He is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
heavy, does not say a word a day. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
bored and I can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my opinions, experience with him. If it is possible.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Move
me another room or my roommate.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
My new roommate studies
Possible spelling mistake found.
phylology
faculty.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
will be ok. I hope you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me.

Yours
faithfully
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bobur
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IELTS letter You live in a room in college which you share another student. There are many problems with arrangement

Letter
  American English
2 paragraphs
155 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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