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You have to take day off from work from the manager

You have to take day off from work from the manager x2Pow
Dear Madam/SirI would like to suggest that you should take off from my work. I am worker in your company. I have been working there for many years. I propose that i am going to go visit my hometown in order to celebrate my grandfather's jubilee. I am going to ask permission for a few days. May i have permission to this jubilee. As my home is a long way from to reach there, it takes half a day. They have been waiting me for months to come there. Woulf you have some time to chat abot this invite. Unless i go there, They may be upset me. Considering the outcome of the conyest, i suggest that it be postponed to the next term, preferably in the first a few days. Thank you for your attention. Yours faithfully.
Dear Madam/
Possible spelling mistake found.
SirI
would like to suggest that you should take off from my work. I am worker in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. I have been working there for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
propose that
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am going to go visit my hometown in order to celebrate my grandfather's jubilee.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am going to ask permission for a few days. May
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have permission to this jubilee. As my home is a long way from to reach there, it takes half a day. They have been waiting me for months to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Woulf
you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to chat
Possible spelling mistake found.
abot
this invite. Unless
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
go there, They may
be upset
me. Considering the outcome of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
conyest
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
suggest that it
be postponed
to the
next
term,
preferably
in the
first
a few days. Thank you for your attention. Yours
faithfully
.

IELTS letter You have to take day off from work from the manager

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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