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You have seen an advertisement in the local newspaper for swimming lessons at your country sport centre. describe how you can swim at the moment, explain why you want ti learn to swim better, enquires about the time and cost of the swimming lesson

You have seen an advertisement in the local newspaper for swimming lessons at your country sport centre. describe how you can swim at the moment, explain why you want ti learn to swim better, enquires about the time and cost of the swimming lesson do3VX
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I am writing this letter to enquire about the swimming sessions at your centre. Yesterday, I found an advent in the 'The Times' newspaper related to the courses you are providing. I am keen to get enrolled in that. To begin with the proficiency, I did not have any previous experience in swimming and be counted in the category of beginners. As per the commercial, your sports centre is specially designed for initators. In particular, my job has transferred to the sea area in Mumbai and my all colleagues are professional swimmer except me. Likewise, they planned to spend every weekend at beaches. Being a part of their group swimming becomes necessary to me. I was also thinking to learn it for many years, but I did not get adequate time. However, I came to know that you are offering evening sessions for the employees, It seems better to me. Please share a quote of classes with the cost including any further charges. I am hoping to hear from you soon. Kind regards,
Dear Sir/Ma'am,

I am writing this letter to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about the swimming sessions at your
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. Yesterday, I found an advent in
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "the" or "'The" is left.
the 'The
Times' newspaper related to the courses you are providing. I am keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
enrolled in that.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the proficiency, I did not have any previous experience in swimming and
be counted
in the category of beginners. As per the commercial, your sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is
specially
designed for
Possible spelling mistake found.
initators
.

In particular
, my job has transferred to the sea area in Mumbai and my all colleagues are professional swimmer except me.
Likewise
, they planned to spend every weekend at beaches. Being a part of their group swimming becomes necessary to me. I was
also
thinking to learn it for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adequate time.

However
, I came to know that you are offering evening sessions for the employees, It seems better to me.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
share a quote of classes with the cost including any
further
charges.

I am hoping to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Kind regards,
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IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in the local newspaper for swimming lessons at your country sport centre. describe how you can swim at the moment, explain why you want ti learn to swim better, enquires about the time and cost of the swimming lesson

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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