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You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You have decided to apply for the job. v.3

You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You have decided to apply for the job. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently noticed a job advertisement in a local newspaper for the sales executive position in the City Museum shop. I would like to apply for the post as a part-time employee during the summer holiday. I am hoping that you would consider my candidacy for the post and give me a chance to discuss it further in a formal interview. I have completed my graduation in accounting and have sound knowledge of customer care. Besides, I have two years of experience as a front desk officer in a telecom company. As I will be free during the summer vacation, I would like to work for your museum shop that primarily sells antique items, books, journals and souvenirs. I am quite confident that I would be a valuable asset to your team. The reason for applying this position is to work in a post which is equally challenging and rewarding. At the same time, I will be able to meet people from diverse cultures and regions. This would definitely make my holidays meaningful and exciting. I look forward to meeting you soon. Yours faithfully, Shanthy Devi
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have recently noticed a job advertisement in a local newspaper for the sales executive position in the City Museum shop. I would like to apply for the post as a part-time employee during the summer holiday.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would consider my candidacy for the post and give me a chance to discuss it
further
in a formal interview.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have completed my graduation in accounting and have sound knowledge of customer care.
Besides
, I have two years of experience as a front desk officer in a telecom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. As I will be free during the summer vacation, I would like to work for your museum shop that
primarily
sells antique items, books, journals and souvenirs. I am quite confident that I would be a valuable asset to your team.

The reason for applying this position is to work in a post which is
equally
challenging and rewarding. At the same time, I will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from diverse cultures and regions. This would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my holidays meaningful and exciting.

I look forward to meeting you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Shanthy
Devi
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You have decided to apply for the job. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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