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You have seen an advertisement in an australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. write a letter to the parents. in your letter, explain why you would like the job. give details of why you would be suitable person to employ. say how you would spend your free time while you are in australia.

Dear Mr and Mrs Collins, My name is Carol. I have seen your advertisement in a magazine and I am writing to you because I would like to be considered for the position you are offering. I really would like to work for you because I think it will be a good experience for you and me. I like to travel, know about different cultures and meet new people. I have never been to Australia but I'm pretty sure there are a lot of thing to see and try. I have previous experience looking after children. Currently I'm working for an Irish family and i take care of for children whose ages vary from three to eight. I have to say that I've never thought that looking after children would be that rewarding. I enjoy spending time with them and I have learnt a lot. I'm really patient, tidy, reliable, and hard working. In addition, I have just completed an first aids course. If I had the chance to live with you would be great. I would spend my free time learning English, visiting tourist attractions, trying local food and making new friends. Thankyou for taking time to read my letter. please feel free to contact me if you need further details and recommendations. kind regards, Carola
Dear Mr and Mrs Collins, My name is Carol. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
your advertisement in a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
magazine and
I am writing to you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I would like to
be considered
for the position you are offering. I
really
would like to work for you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it will be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience for you and me.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
like to travel, know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have never been to Australia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I'm pretty sure there are
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of things".
a lot of thing
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and try.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have previous experience looking after children.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
I'm working for an Irish family and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
take care of for children whose ages vary from three to eight. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say that I've never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that looking after children would be that rewarding. I enjoy spending time with them and I have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
a lot.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
'm
really
patient, tidy, reliable, and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
.
In addition
, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
completed
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
first
aids course.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
I had the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with you would be great. I would spend my free time learning English, visiting tourist attractions, trying local food and making new friends.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thankyou
for taking time to read my letter.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
please
feel free to contact me if you need
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and recommendations.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
kind
regards,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Carola
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IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in an australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. write a letter to the parents. in your letter, explain why you would like the job. give details of why you would be suitable person to employ. say how you would spend your free time while you are in australia.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
216 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You have seen an advertisement in an australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. write a letter to the parents. in your letter, explain why you would like the job. give details of why you would be suitable person to employ. say how you would spend your free time while you are in australia.