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You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: say what experience you have ask what the work involves enquire about conditions

You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: say what experience you have ask what the work involves enquire about conditions y1wD
Dear Sir / Madam, I am writing this letter for the part time job opportunity. The construction of this letter involves three parts, my qualifications, my questions about the work demands and about the conditions, respectively. First of all, I am a punctual, well-organized person with good communication skills. Moreover i have experience in the hotel bussiness. Last year, I have been working as a receptionist in the Hilton at Seatlle for 6 months. Furthermore, i have been trained as a intern in Raddison Hotel for one year before this experience. I would like to ask some questions about the job which is your company advertised. Firstly, i would like to know what is the position of the job? Secondly, i would like to know about the work hours. Could you please explain the ''part-time'' terms? In addition, i would like to ask about enquirements of the job. Could you please inform me about the salary and side benefits (i. e; accommodation and relocation payments). I am looking forward to hear from you. Sincerely, Jack
Dear Sir / Madam,

I am writing this letter for the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity. The construction of this letter involves three parts, my qualifications, my questions about the work demands and about the conditions,
respectively
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I am a punctual, well-organized person with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have experience in the hotel
Possible spelling mistake found.
bussiness
. Last year, I have been working as a receptionist in the Hilton at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Seatlle
for 6 months.
Furthermore
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
have
been trained
as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
intern in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Raddison
Hotel for one year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
this experience.

I would like to ask
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
questions about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which is your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
advertised.
Firstly
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to know what is the position of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
?
Secondly
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to know about the work hours. Could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the ''part-time'' terms?

In addition
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to ask about
Possible spelling mistake found.
enquirements
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Could you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
inform me about the salary and side benefits (i. e; accommodation and relocation payments).

I am looking forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to hearing".
to hear
from you.

Sincerely
,

Jack
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IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: say what experience you have ask what the work involves enquire about conditions

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
174 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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