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You have recently noticed that your work computer is getting too slow and out-of-date. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -explain the problems with your computer -give some examples of how this has affected your work -make some suggestions for what can be done to help adress this issue

You have recently noticed that your work computer is getting too slow and out-of-date. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -explain the problems with your computer -give some examples of how this has affected your work -make some suggestions for what can be done to help adress this issue wMEEm
Dear Mr David, I am writing to you regarding my office desktop, which is five years old and processes jobs a lot slower than before. My desktop’s security app has expired last month, which may be the major reason that it is not assisting to process jobs. Every half an hour, my computer is restarting by itself, which I have never experienced in my past jobs. Example of a problem, I was completing my month end reports for the management last week, and it decides to restart without any warning. Consequently, I have lost all of my work as I did not save it. In addition, the license of windows is asking for renewal. My suggestion to the IT division is to renew my security licence, and a windows update may be required according to my understanding. I am awaiting your response as it hampers my productivity a lot nowadays. Sincerely yours, Ryan Smith
Dear Mr David,

I am writing to you regarding my office desktop, which is five years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and processes jobs a lot slower than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

My desktop’s security app has expired last month, which may be the major reason that it is not assisting to process jobs. Every half an hour, my computer is restarting by itself, which I have never experienced in my past jobs.

Example of a problem, I was completing my month
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
reports for the management last week, and it decides to restart without any warning.
Consequently
, I have lost all of my work as I did not save it.
In addition
, the license of windows is asking for renewal.

My suggestion to the IT division is to renew my security
Possible spelling mistake. 'licence' is British English.
licence
, and a
"Windows" (operating system by Microsoft) is a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.
windows
update may
be required
according to my understanding.

I am awaiting your response as it hampers my productivity a lot nowadays.

Sincerely
yours,

Ryan Smith
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IELTS letter You have recently noticed that your work computer is getting too slow and out-of-date. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -explain the problems with your computer -give some examples of how this has affected your work -make some suggestions for what can be done to help adress this issue

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
153 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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