Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You have recently moved to another province and need your internet service set up. You chose the company you would like to go with and made an appointment. However, nobody arrived at the scheduled time.

To the manager, I am Alina and contacted you regarding booked appointment by me on Saturday with a half deposit. I came to the Bell service at the Orangeville location for the new internet connection for my apartment. The appointment schedule was Wednesday, in the morning at 10. I was waiting till 6 PM, but nobody appears, and I did not get any call or updates related to the appointment. I need an internet connection as earliest as you can because of some reasons. Firstly, I moved from Chicago last weekend, and my owner is not providing me with an internet facility. Secondly, my role in a bank is at the service desk, and I have work from home schedule. Without an internet facility, I am not able to work. Besides, I am going to a cafe to use wifi right now but, the speed is low. At work, I have to attend calls, and it is not possible in a public place. Moreover, I am here myself, and I need the internet to call my friends and family back home. However, my job is going to start on Monday, February 1st. Is that any chance that any of you employee come before Saturday to set the WIFI. ? Because I need Sunday to set up my all system like the plugin the computers and log into the system. Moreover, If you give a refund, I will contact another internet service desk who can help me on time. I am eagerly waiting for your response. Your regards, Alina
To the manager,

I am Alina and contacted you regarding booked appointment by me on Saturday with a half deposit. I came to the Bell service at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Orangeville
location for the new internet connection for my apartment. The appointment schedule was Wednesday, in the morning at 10. I was waiting till 6 PM,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nobody appears, and I did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any call or updates related to the appointment.

I need an internet connection as
Did you mean "early"?
earliest
as you can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
from Chicago last weekend, and my owner is not providing me with an internet facility.
Secondly
, my role in a bank is at the service desk, and I have work from home schedule. Without an internet facility, I am not able to work.
Besides
, I am going to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the speed is low. At work, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend calls, and it is not possible in a public place.
Moreover
, I am here myself, and I need the internet to call my friends and family back home.

However
, my job is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
on Monday, February 1st. Is that any chance that any of
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'you'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
you employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Saturday to set the
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
WIFI
. ?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I need Sunday to set up my all system like the plugin the computers and log into the system.
Moreover
, If you give a refund, I will contact another internet service desk who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me on time.

I am
eagerly
waiting for your response.

Your regards,

Alina
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter You have recently moved to another province and need your internet service set up. You chose the company you would like to go with and made an appointment. However, nobody arrived at the scheduled time.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • You have recently moved to another province and need your internet service set up. You chose the company you would like to go with and made an appointment. However, nobody arrived at the scheduled time.