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you have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect

you have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect 6xx2r
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently bought one of your magazines called Tomorrow Land. I am writing to inform you about the some mistakes in the article relate to my home town Caspian Village. I would be really grateful if you could change the wrong information in this article. It is written in the magazine that Iraq army had invaded some part of our land 500 years ago, and after a while, they have been established the oldest library in the middle east region. Refer to the national cultural heritage publication, you can easily find out that the Sima library is relate to 1000 years ago which has been bulit by Hakhamanesh dynasty. The Sima library is one of the hallmarks of our national heritage that promotes national pride for all people. Hence, It is extremely vital for our local people that foreginers know it well and right. I offer you to check the national cultrual heritage website in order to know precisely about the history of my hometown. I hope you will change the article information at your earliest convenience Yours Faithfully, Alireza Dadashpour
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
one of your magazines called Tomorrow Land. I am writing to inform you about the
Did you mean "same"?
some
mistakes in the article

relate to my home town Caspian Village.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would be
really
grateful if you could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information in this article.

It
is written
in the magazine that Iraq army had invaded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of our land 500 years ago, and after a while, they have
been established
the oldest library

in the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle east
region. Refer to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
cultural heritage publication, you can
easily
find out that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sima
library is
Consider using a past participle here: "related".
relate
to 1000 years ago which

has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
bulit
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hakhamanesh
dynasty.

The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sima
library is one of the hallmarks of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
heritage that promotes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
pride for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Hence
, It is
extremely
vital for our local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


that
Possible spelling mistake found.
foreginers
know it well and right.

I offer you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
Possible spelling mistake found.
cultrual
heritage website in order to know
precisely
about the history of my hometown.

I hope you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the article information at your earliest convenience

Yours
Faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Alireza
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dadashpour
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IELTS letter you have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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