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You have arranged to visit a friend in England but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. v.2

You have arranged to visit a friend in England but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. v. 2
Hope you are doing fine. I have been eagerly waiting to meet you in a few days and spend some pleasant time in England. However, my younger sister gave birth to a baby boy two days ago and would be staying at our home for around 3 weeks. I am afraid I will have to reschedule my visit to England in early June instead of early May. I have almost finished my preparation to travel to England and applied for the visa. If things go as expected, I will get the visa in a week. Despite my anticipation to meet you on 3rd May, my current situation forces me to delay the tour for a month. My sister has had her first baby and she is staying with us. We are so happy to have a new angel in our family and my presence is quite important for the baby and the mother. I am the only male member of the family and cannot desert my family while I travel to England. I am so sorry that I cannot visit you as initially planned and it must be hard for you to reschedule everything. I wish I have had an alternative! Wishing to meet you on 4th June if everything goes smoothly. Take care and have an excellent time ahead. Warm wishes, Jonathon
Hope you are doing fine. I have been
eagerly
waiting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you in a few days and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pleasant time in England.
However
, my younger sister gave birth to a baby boy two days ago and would be staying at our home for around 3 weeks. I am afraid I will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
reschedule my visit to England in early June
instead
of early May.

I have almost finished my preparation to travel to England and applied for the visa. If things go as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the visa in a week. Despite my anticipation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you on 3rd May, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation forces me to delay the tour for a month. My sister has had her
first
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
baby and
she is staying with us. We are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy to have a new angel in our family and my presence is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the baby and the mother. I am the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
male member of the family and cannot desert my family while I travel to England.

I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sorry that I cannot visit you as
initially
planned and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for you to reschedule everything.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
wish I have had an alternative!

Wishing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you on 4th June if everything goes
smoothly
.

Take care and have an excellent time ahead.

Warm wishes,

Jonathon
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS letter You have arranged to visit a friend in England but an important event at home now means that you must change the dates of the visit. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
222 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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