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You have been invited to attend an interview for a place studying a course at a college. Unfortunately, because of a previous appointment, you cannot come at the time they wish. v.3

You have been invited to attend an interview for a place studying a course at a college. Unfortunately, because of a previous appointment, you cannot come at the time they wish. v. 3
Dear Sir or Madam, I have been accepted to join the Masters of Science programme in the winter semester at your college. I am supposed to meet you in an interview next Monday morning but I am afraid the timing contradicts another important meeting. I am hoping that you would allow me to meet you sometime later on that day or on a different day. I work with Optus Telecom and they have scheduled a general meeting on 27th November which contradicts my interview with you. The meeting in the office will start at 9. 00 am whereas my interview with you set at 10. 00 am on the same day. I understand how important it is for me to meet you to finalise my admission and hoping that you would allow me to alter the timing as I really cannot make it at 10 am on 27th November. I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience and I request you to kindly reschedule my interview for another day or after 2 pm on the same day. For this, I shall always be thankful to you. Also, kindly let me know if I need to take any test as part of the interview process and how long the interview might continue. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Namrata Roy
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the Masters of Science
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
in the winter semester at your college. I
am supposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
next
Monday morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am afraid the timing contradicts another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
meeting.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am hoping that you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you sometime later on that day or on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
day.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
work with Optus
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Telecom and
they have scheduled a general meeting on 27th November which contradicts my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
with you. The meeting in the office will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
at 9. 00 am whereas my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
with you set at 10. 00 am on the same day. I understand how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
it is for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you to
Possible spelling mistake. 'finalise' is British English.
finalise
my admission and hoping that you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to alter the timing as I
really
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it at 10 am on 27th November.

I
sincerely
apologize for the inconvenience and I request you to kindly reschedule my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
for another day or after 2 pm on the same day. For this, I shall always be thankful to you.
Also
, kindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know if I need to take any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
as part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
process and how long the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interview
might continue.

I am looking forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Namrata
Roy
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS letter You have been invited to attend an interview for a place studying a course at a college. Unfortunately, because of a previous appointment, you cannot come at the time they wish. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
221 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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