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You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter, describe your previous studies and/or work experience, your current activities, hobbies and interests. Also, tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her. v.4

You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter, describe your previous studies and/or work experience, your current activities, hobbies and interests. Also, tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her. v. 4
Dear Ahmed, Hope this letter finds you well. I am very excited to have this opportunity to write to you as a pen pal. I hope we would become good friends. In my first letter to you, I would like to tell about my education, job and hobbies. I completed my graduation from the University of Edinvera in 2016 and my major was data engineering. Afterwards, I joined the multinational company - Siemens, as a data analyst. I still work there and I really enjoy my job. I like to explore the world and meet new people to know about their tradition and lifestyle. So far I had been to more than 10 countries and planning to visit Italy this summer. I am health conscious and regularly take part in physical activities. For this reason, I am an active member of the renowned fitness centre ‘Shape’. I hope we would be able to extend our friendship and become good buddies. I would be glad to meet you in person sometime in the middle of next year when I will be visiting your country. Warm regards, Fahad Sultan
Dear Ahmed,

Hope this letter finds you well. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited to have this opportunity to write to you as a pen pal. I hope we would become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friends.

In my
first
letter to you, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about my education, job and hobbies. I completed my graduation from the University of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Edinvera
in 2016 and my major was data engineering. Afterwards, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Siemens, as a data analyst. I
still
work there and I
really
enjoy my job. I like to explore the world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to know about their tradition and lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far I had been to more than 10 countries and planning to visit Italy this summer. I am health conscious and
regularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in physical activities.
For this reason
, I am an active member of the renowned fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
‘Shape’.

I hope we would be able to extend our friendship and become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
buddies. I would be glad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you in person sometime in the middle of
next
year when I will be visiting your country.

Warm regards,

Fahad Sultan
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter, describe your previous studies and/or work experience, your current activities, hobbies and interests. Also, tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her. v. 4

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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