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You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter, describe your previous studies and/or work experience, your current activities, hobbies and interests. Also, tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her. v.5

You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter, describe your previous studies and/or work experience, your current activities, hobbies and interests. Also, tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her. v. 5
Dear David, I hope you are doing great. I am so excited to be your pen pal and writing my first letter to introduce myself. I hope you will write to me someday as I would like to know more about you. As you already know I live in Manila, the capital of the Philippines and a bayside city on the island of Luzon, which mixes Spanish colonial architecture with modern skyscrapers. It is a lively city with more than 1. 8 million population. Regarding my education, I have completed my graduation from the University of Santo Tomas, Manila and my major was Bachelor of Business Administration. I finished my MBA at the University of the East in 2015 and soon after that, I started working for Ayala Corporation - one of the largest holding companies in the Philippines. I am now a senior executive in this company. I was so excited to know that you maintain a blog as I also do it. You can visit my personal blog at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Besides, I am a volunteer for a charity organisation that works for the destitute and less privileged population in our city. I am so surprised that you also like travelling as it is my passion to be able to visit different parts of the world. I would like to thank you for inviting me to the UK. I am sure I will someday visit you and explore this great country. Take care and write me back when time allows you to do so. Warm wishes, Daniel Francis
Dear David,

I hope you are doing great. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited to be your pen pal and writing my
first
letter to introduce myself.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hope you will write to me someday as I would like to know more about you.

As you already know I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Manila, the capital of the Philippines and a
Possible spelling mistake found.
bayside
city on the island of Luzon, which mixes Spanish colonial architecture with modern skyscrapers. It is a lively city with more than 1. 8 million population.

Regarding my education, I have completed my graduation from the University of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Santo
Tomas, Manila and my major was Bachelor of Business Administration. I finished my MBA at the University of the East in 2015 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after that, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working for Ayala Corporation
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
one of the largest holding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in the Philippines. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a senior executive in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited to know that you maintain a blog as I
also
do it. You can visit my personal blog at This email address is
being protected
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
spambots
. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Besides
, I am a volunteer for a charity
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
that works for the destitute and less privileged population in our city. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
surprised that you
also
like travelling as it is my passion to be able to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.

I would like to thank you for inviting me to the UK.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am sure I will someday visit you and explore this great country.

Take care and write me back when time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
you to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Warm wishes,

Daniel Francis
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS letter You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter, describe your previous studies and/or work experience, your current activities, hobbies and interests. Also, tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her. v. 5

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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