Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter, describe your previous studies and/or work experience, your current activities, hobbies and interests. Also, tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her. v.3

You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter, describe your previous studies and/or work experience, your current activities, hobbies and interests. Also, tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her. v. 3
Dear Adam, My name is Alex Green, and I received your name and mailing address from a renowned magazine in Japan called Nara Pen Pals. I am very excited to have this opportunity to write to you and become pen pals. I hope you would write me back. I’m currently working as a computer programmer in a large multinational company in Japan. I graduated from Waseda University with a Bachelor’s degree in computer science in December 2017. While I greatly enjoy my current job, I’m interested in pursuing a Master’s degree and hope to begin graduate studies next March. My hobbies include blogging, travelling listening to rock music, playing the piano and playing table tennis. I try to visit a different country each year and so far had been to eight of them. I would be glad to meet you someday. I hope I would be able to become your friend and then meet you to know more about you. Well, let me finish here. I am already eagerly awaiting your reply to this first letter. Please tell me all about yourself and your interests. Warm wishes, Daniel Red
Dear Adam,

My name is Alex Green, and I received your name and mailing address from a renowned magazine in Japan called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nara
Pen Pals. I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited to have this opportunity to write to you and become pen pals. I hope you would write me back.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
’m
currently
working as a computer programmer in a large multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in Japan.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
graduated from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Waseda
University with a Bachelor’s degree in computer science in December 2017. While I
greatly
enjoy my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job, I’m interested in pursuing a Master’s degree and hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
graduate studies
next
March. My hobbies include blogging, travelling listening to rock music, playing the piano and playing table tennis. I try to visit a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country each year and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far had been
Did you mean "too"?
to
eight of them.

I would be glad to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you someday.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hope I would be able to become your friend and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you to know more about you.

Well,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me finish here. I am already
eagerly
awaiting your reply to this
first
letter.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me all about yourself and your interests.

Warm wishes,

Daniel Red
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS letter You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter, describe your previous studies and/or work experience, your current activities, hobbies and interests. Also, tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her. v. 3

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts