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You have a full-time job and you are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course.

You have a full-time job and you are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. OBD3
Dear Mr. Andrews, I am writing to inform you that I am unable to continue your evening course in Applied Physics. This course currently clashes with my recent promoton from part-time to a full-time employee as a Commercial Driver for Lockheed & Martin. I am now required to work from 7am to 6pm, Monday to Saturday. While your course begins at 7pm and finishes at 9pm, I am unable to concentrate on my course work and assignments after operating heavy machine for the majority of the day. I rather withdraw now, while I still have time to do so, than to obtain an unsatisfactory grade. I do plan to take this course next semester as it is a requirement for the BSc. in Mechanical Engineering. My current employers are willing to have me return to just being a part-time operator in the next few months. By this time, I would have saved enough money from my current job to resume school full-time. Yours Sincerly, Duanel Bartholomew
Dear Mr. Andrews,

I am writing to inform you that I am unable to continue your evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in Applied Physics.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
currently
clashes with my recent
Possible spelling mistake found.
promoton
from part-time to a full-time employee as a Commercial Driver for Lockheed & Martin. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
required to work from 7am to 6pm, Monday to Saturday. While your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
at 7pm and finishes at 9pm, I am unable to concentrate on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
work and assignments after operating heavy machine for the majority of the day. I
rather
withdraw
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, while I
still
have time to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, than to obtain an unsatisfactory grade.

I do plan to take this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
next
semester as it is a requirement for the
Consider using a more common abbreviation of this university degree.
BSc.
in Mechanical Engineering. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
employers are willing to have me return to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
being a part-time operator in the
next
few months.

By this time, I would have saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job to resume school full-time.

Yours
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sincerly
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Duanel
Bartholomew
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IELTS letter You have a full-time job and you are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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