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You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. v.13

You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. v. 13
Dear Mimi, Hope you are doing excellent. I regret that I haven't been in touch with you for a couple of months. I am really busy these days and I hardly have time to wind down. I am writing to let you know that I am planning to apply to Oxford University, which means we'll be living in the same city soon. I am expecting your assistance in getting some information regarding the course I am planning to pursue. As you know, ever since I have finished my Bachelor in Psychology, I have been working full time in the human resources department. I'm currently working as an HR consultant, but I am interested in organisational development. That's why I have decided to do a master's degree in ‘Organisational Psychology’. I am planning to submit my application to the university soon. However, I was recently assigned to work on a three-month project in Hongkong, so I don't know when I'll have the opportunity to contact the admission office. Do you mind contacting them to ask about their specific entry requirements? That would be a great help if you do. Take care and write me back sometime. Talk to you soon. Warm regards, Helen
Dear Mimi,

Hope you are doing excellent. I regret that I haven't been in touch with you for a couple of months. I am
really
busy these days and I hardly have time to wind down.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that I am planning to apply to Oxford University, which means we'll be living in the same city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am expecting your assistance in getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information regarding the course I am planning to pursue.

As you know, ever since I have finished my Bachelor in Psychology, I have been working full time in the human resources department. I'm
currently
working as an HR consultant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
am interested
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
development. That's why I have decided to do a master's degree in ‘
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisational' is British English.
Organisational
Psychology’.

I am planning to submit my application to the university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
However
, I was recently assigned to work on a three-month project in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hongkong
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I don't know when I'll have the opportunity to contact the admission office. Do you mind contacting them to ask about their specific entry requirements? That would be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
if you do.

Take care and write me back sometime. Talk to you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Warm regards,

Helen
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS letter You have a friend who lives in a city abroad. You have decided that you would like to apply to do a course at one of the colleges in this city. v. 13

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
201 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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