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You got a small object from the soil and you think it has some historical value. Write to the museum to give information about it - Describe the object - Explain how you get it - Ask information about its value

You got a small object from the soil and you think it has some historical value. Write to the museum to give information about it - Describe the object - Explain how you get it - Ask information about its value qkyRp
Dear Sir, This is to inform you that I got a old pistol from my backyard and I think that it has some historical value. This pistol is in black colour and very similar to modern day service pistol used by indian police force. It has very narrow and long nozzle and small in size, which bring this precious item very convenient. I found this when I was digging land for swimming pool in our house backyard, which I planning from last one year. I think it has some historical value as my great grandfathers were freedom fighters and might be it was digged to hide from britishers as that time, as britishers were continuously searching the house of freedom fighters in order to pressed a voice against them. I also need information about its value, I think this belongs to nation and this old pistol deserve to be in museum. As your museum is well known to preserve these kind of old and antiques which have some historical importance in our history. Thanks
Dear Sir,

This is to inform you that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pistol
from my backyard and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
historical value. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pistol
is in black
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar to modern day service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pistol
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
indian
police force. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
narrow and long nozzle and
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
small in size
, which bring this precious item
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient.

I found this when I was digging land for swimming pool in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
backyard, which
Did you mean "I'm planning", "I am planning", or "I was planning"?
I planning
from last one year. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
historical value as my great grandfathers were freedom fighters and might be it was
Possible spelling mistake found.
digged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
britishers
as that time, as
Possible spelling mistake found.
britishers
were
continuously
searching the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of freedom fighters in order to
Did you mean "press"?
pressed
a voice against them.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
also
need information about its value, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this belongs to nation and this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pistol
deserve to be in museum. As your museum is well known to preserve
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and antiques which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
historical importance in our history.

Thanks
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IELTS letter You got a small object from the soil and you think it has some historical value. Write to the museum to give information about it - Describe the object - Explain how you get it - Ask information about its value

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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