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You find that your study load is too heavy and you would like to withdraw from two courses. v.1

You find that your study load is too heavy and you would like to withdraw from two courses. v. 1
I am writing to request your permission to withdraw from two courses that I find extremely difficult to manage due to the study pressure in this term. Besides, I am in the college football league and we have our annual inter-college competition this November. I am hoping to get your approval to withdraw from these two courses which I intend to take during the next semester. I was perhaps overly optimistic and unaware of the study pressure when I registered for six courses at the beginning of the summer semester. The classes, regular assignments and practice session with the football team demands a great deal of time and I am already lagging behind the schedule with my study and work. I would, therefore, request your permission to withdraw from courses 'The material text or Shakespeare (CMT 204)' and 'Literature in English 1350–1550 (CLE 208)'. I will intake these courses next term so that I can finish my courses in due time. According to our university intake rules, if someone withdraws from a course before the first-term, he would be eligible for an 80% refund and I am hoping a tuition refund as I am applying within the prescribed timeframe. My sincere apology for any inconveniences caused by this change in plans. Should there any query or question I am available to meet you in person to discuss them. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Dave Franco
I am writing to request your permission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
withdraw
from two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that I find
extremely
difficult to manage due to the study pressure in this term.
Besides
, I am in the college football
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
league and
we have our annual inter-college competition this November. I am hoping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your approval to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
withdraw
from these two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which I intend to take during the
next
semester.

I was perhaps
overly
optimistic and unaware of the study pressure when I registered for six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
at the beginning of the summer semester. The classes, regular assignments and practice session with the football team demands a great deal of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
I am already lagging behind the schedule with my study and work. I would,
therefore
, request your permission to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
withdraw
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
'The material text or Shakespeare (CMT 204)' and 'Literature in English 1350–1550 (CLE 208)'. I will intake these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
next
term
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can finish my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in due time.

According to our university intake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, if someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
withdraws
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
first
-term, he would be eligible for an 80%
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
refund and
I am hoping a tuition refund as I am applying within the prescribed timeframe. My sincere apology for any inconveniences caused by this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in plans.

Should there any query or question I am available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you in person to discuss them.

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely
,

Dave Franco
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter You find that your study load is too heavy and you would like to withdraw from two courses. v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
239 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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