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You eat at your college cafeteria every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

You eat at your college cafeteria every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved awyxo
Dear Sir, I am Ms. Rashmi Shah, 3rd year student at engineering department. I often eat lunch in the cafeteria during weekdays along with my colleagues. I must admit that entire area is well maintained in terms of hygiene and housekeeping. Also, there is a wide range of food to select from and we prefer hot and fresh cooked snacks along with cold beverages. However, I am writing this letter to suggest few changes related to the serving area. We frequently find ourselves in the long waiting queue just to enter the area. Therefore, on Wednesdays, we avoid entering it as we have our classes early by 15 minutes. On the constructive note, I suggest that the sitting area could be more ventilated and spacious if additional chairs are removed and tables are elevated such that they could be used in standing position. Consequently, this would provides a great ambiance and could accommodate more students. Moreover, those who visit canteen for instant foods, for example ice-creams, wafers etc, would save more time with these arrangements. Apart from this, if the serving counters could be increased by one, it would be quick for those who are running late for lectures. I look forward for your reply. Thanks, Yours sincerely, Ms. Shah
Dear Sir,

I am Ms.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rashmi
Shah, 3rd year student at engineering department. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
eat lunch in the cafeteria during weekdays along with my colleagues.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
admit that entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is well maintained in terms of hygiene and housekeeping.
Also
, there is a wide range of food to select
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
from and
we prefer hot and fresh cooked snacks along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
beverages.
However
, I am writing this letter to suggest few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
related to the serving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. We
frequently
find ourselves in the long waiting queue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to enter the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
Therefore
, on Wednesdays, we avoid entering it as we have our classes early by 15 minutes.

On the constructive note, I suggest that the sitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
could be more ventilated and spacious if additional chairs
are removed
and tables
are elevated
such that they could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in standing position.
Consequently
, this would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "provide"
provides
a great ambiance and could accommodate more students.
Moreover
, those who visit canteen for instant foods,
for example
ice-creams, wafers etc, would save more time with these arrangements. Apart from this, if the serving counters could
be increased
by one, it would be quick for those who are running late for lectures.

I look forward for your reply.

Thanks,

Yours
sincerely
,

Ms. Shah

IELTS letter You eat at your college cafeteria every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements. Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter, explain what you like about the cafeteria say what is wrong with it suggest how it could be improved

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
209 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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