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You buy a new model of iron which is made in Japan. But there are many problems with it. You should exchange another one.

You buy a new model of iron which is made in Japan. But there are many problems with it. You should exchange another one. ewmdB
Dear Mr Smith, I am writing to complain about a new model of iron which is made in Japan. I purchased from your shop last week. Although the iron would be well-designed and produced. Furthermore, when I used it the first time, I poured some water but it had problem with it. The water couldn't enter in it. Then I switched on the iron, but the light of iron could not work ever. I called your manager yesterday after having been assured by one of the assistants that I would be sent a refund. However, I still have not received one. As a regular customers of yours, I feel disappointed with the way I have been treated and hope that steps will be taken to rectify the situation. I trust this matter will receive your immediate attention. Yours sincerelyAnn Bell
Dear Mr Smith, I am writing to complain about a new model of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
iron
which
is made
in Japan. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
from your shop last week. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
iron
would be well-designed and produced.
Furthermore
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it the
first
time, I poured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it had problem with it. The water couldn't enter in it. Then I switched on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
iron
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the light of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
iron
could not work ever. I called your manager yesterday after having
been assured
by one of the assistants that I would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
a refund.
However
, I
still
have not received one. As a regular
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "customer"?
customers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
yours
, I feel disappointed with the way I have
been treated
and hope that steps will
be taken
to rectify the situation. I trust this matter will receive your immediate attention.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Yours
Possible spelling mistake found.
sincerelyAnn
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Bell

IELTS letter You buy a new model of iron which is made in Japan. But there are many problems with it. You should exchange another one.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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