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You bought TV set at store but did not work.

You bought TV set at store but did not work. w7O5e
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to complaint about TV set. I bought it your online store 3 days ago. Your employees delivered it to us. They set us up and used it, then we went to the mountain, had stayed for 2 days. We have returned today and when we watched TV but it did not switch on and did not connect it, we did not know what was happening it? It did not work. I called your staffs many times but they were not responsible their work. Such poor quality products should not be tolerated in a store, which changes such high prices. Moreover, your staffs were not responsible and polite their customers. I assume you will replace the TV set as it is obviously faulty I demand a full refund of my money again to this store. However, as a manager you would be wise to guard against such appalling treatment of you customers in future. Your faithfully, Mukarramova Mushtariy.
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to complaint about TV set. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it your online store 3 days ago. Your employees delivered it to us. They set us up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it, then we went to the mountain, had stayed for 2 days. We have returned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it did not switch on and did not connect it, we did not know what was happening it? It did not work. I called your staffs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were not responsible their work. Such poor quality products should not
be tolerated
in a store, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
such high prices.
Moreover
, your staffs were not responsible and polite their customers. I assume you will replace the TV set as it is
obviously
faulty I demand a full refund of my money again to this store.
However
, as a manager you would be wise to guard against such appalling treatment of you customers
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Did you mean "Yours"? (complimentary close)
Your
faithfully
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mukarramova
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mushtariy
.
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IELTS letter You bought TV set at store but did not work.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
162 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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