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Letter to change accommodation in the college

Letter to change accommodation in the college eEwYK
ToThe Accommodation officerSt Joseph collegeDear sir/madamI would like to inform you regarding the problems with my accomodation in our college. Iam living in a shared room with one of my college mate. Her friends do visit here frequently and play musics in high volume over the night. So I could not sleep and not able to study. Hence I request you to kindly change my accommodation in order to get concentrate on my studies. Thanking you
Possible spelling mistake found.
ToThe
Accommodation
Possible spelling mistake found.
officerSt
Joseph
Possible spelling mistake found.
collegeDear
sir/
Possible spelling mistake found.
madamI
would like to inform you regarding the problems with my
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
in our college.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iam
living in a shared room with one of my college mate. Her friends do visit here
frequently
and play musics in high volume over the night.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I could not sleep and not able to study.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I request you to kindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my accommodation in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
concentrate on my studies. Thanking
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
you
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IELTS letter Letter to change accommodation in the college

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
75 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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