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you are preparing an event in countryside, write a letter to friend for help in arrangements. what the event, why it is held, what arrangements are already done, in what things you need help

you are preparing an event in countryside, write a letter to friend for help in arrangements. what the event, why it is held, what arrangements are already done, in what things you need help ggbL
Dear Arman, Hope you and your family is doing well! It has been two months since we met because I am out of town and living with my grandparents in the countryside. I am excited to tell you that I am organizing "The Importance of Education for Girls" event here for which I need your help. The reason for arranging this event is to educate the village people about the value of women education. Actually, most of the families do not send their daughters to schools because they think that girls are only for raising children and to do household chores. That is why, I am organizing this event with the help of some educated people of this village to show the benefits and necessity of women education for girls and for the society, too. I took permission from the village head for the place of the event. It will be held on April 13th in the Gobind park in the evening. The sitting and refreshments arrangements are already done. I am giving training to some little girls who are going to present a play related to this issue. Although, most of the arrangements are completed, I still need your help to achieve the goal of this event. It will be awesome if you are able to arrange music system for the event because no good music system is available in the countryside. Also, I need a laptop to show a documentary of the successful women of the world as an example of value of women education. See you soon here! Best regards, Sandy
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Arman
, Hope you and your family is doing well! It has been two months since we met
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I am out of town and living with my grandparents in the countryside. I
am excited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you that I am organizing
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
for Girls
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
here for which I need your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. The reason for arranging this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is to educate the village
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Actually, most of the families do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their daughters to schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for raising children and to do household chores.
That is
why, I am organizing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of this village to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the benefits and necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
and for the society, too. I took permission from the village head for the place of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. It will
be held
on April 13th in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gobind
park in the evening. The sitting and refreshments arrangements are already done. I am giving training to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
who are going to present a play related to this issue. Although, most of the arrangements
are completed
, I
still
need your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to achieve the goal of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. It will be awesome if you are able to arrange music system for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
music system is available in the countryside.
Also
, I need a laptop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a documentary of the successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
of the world as an example of value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
See
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
here! Best regards,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Sandy
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IELTS letter you are preparing an event in countryside, write a letter to friend for help in arrangements. what the event, why it is held, what arrangements are already done, in what things you need help

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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