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You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe what the group does explain why the group is good for the community suggest alternative days and times for practice

You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe what the group does explain why the group is good for the community suggest alternative days and times for practice GMdqL
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to request your permission to practice music in the community hall. We are group of five musicians around Puducherry, who enjoys playing music. We have been informed that we would no longer be able to use the hall due to its renovation work. We formed this group for a noble cause, which is to use music as therapy to young children. In addition, we teach some under privileged kids. This would help our community in amplified growth. Recently, 3 more kids have joined our group. our aim is to reinforce positivity by giving back to the community. I am afraid that this will be no longer be possible. I would like to suggest you that Saturday and Sunday mornings would be a prefect alternative, as I believe that workers will be on off during the weekends. It would be great pleasure, if you could permit us to practice in the hall guest rooms where renovation is not done. Looking forward to hearing from you, Yours sincerely, Nancy
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to request your permission to practice music in the community hall. We are group of five musicians around
Possible spelling mistake found.
Puducherry
, who enjoys playing music. We have
been informed
that we would no longer be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the hall due to its renovation work.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
We
formed this group for a noble cause, which is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
music as therapy to young children.
In addition
, we teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
under privileged kids. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our community in amplified growth. Recently, 3 more kids have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
our group.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
our
aim is to reinforce positivity by giving back to the community. I am afraid that this will be no longer be possible.

I would like to suggest you that Saturday and Sunday mornings would be a prefect alternative, as I believe that workers will be on off during the weekends. It would be great pleasure, if you could permit us to practice in the hall guest rooms where renovation is not done.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Yours
sincerely
,

Nancy

IELTS letter You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe what the group does explain why the group is good for the community suggest alternative days and times for practice

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practise in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: describe what the group does explain why the group is good for the community suggest alternative days and times for practice