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You are organizing a trip to the Snowy mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services and explain when you want to visit the snowy Mountains, how long you will stay, how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require?

You are organizing a trip to the Snowy mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services and explain when you want to visit the snowy Mountains, how long you will stay, how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require? GXpj
Dear Sir, I am writing to seek accommodation in the Snowy Mountains for a group of students from Perth. We expect to be in the Snowy Mountains between June 1 and June 12. There are fourteen people in our group, five men, seven women and a married couple. The five men will accept dormitory accommodation, and the women are happy to share rooms, but the married couple would like a double room. We hope to keep our expenses as low as possible. Please tell me about recreational activities in the area. The group will bring their own boots for bushwalking, but we are hoping to hire equipment for other sports, like skiing. Some of our group will want to hire geological picks and other equipment, if possible. We also need to know about access to caves and other interesting geological features in the area. I am looking forward to receiving information about the Student Hostel Services and other facilities. Yours Sincerely, Rinju Chauhan Yours Sincerely, Rinju Chauhan.
Dear Sir,

I am writing to seek accommodation in the Snowy Mountains for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of students from Perth.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to be in the Snowy Mountains between June 1 and June 12. There are fourteen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, five
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, seven women and a married couple. The five
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
will accept dormitory accommodation, and the women are happy to share rooms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the married couple would like a double room. We hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our expenses as low as possible.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me about recreational activities in the area. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
will bring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boots for
Possible spelling mistake found.
bushwalking
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we are hoping to hire equipment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sports, like skiing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
will want to hire geological picks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
equipment, if possible. We
also
need to know about access to caves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
interesting geological features in the area.

I am looking forward to receiving information about the Student Hostel Services and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
facilities.

Yours
Sincerely
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rinju
Chauhan

Yours
Sincerely
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rinju
Chauhan.

IELTS letter You are organizing a trip to the Snowy mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services and explain when you want to visit the snowy Mountains, how long you will stay, how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require?

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
167 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You are organizing a trip to the Snowy mountains in New South Wales for a group of students from Perth in Western Australia. Write to the manager of Student Hostel Services and explain when you want to visit the snowy Mountains, how long you will stay, how many students are in your party, and what accommodation you will require?