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Appologise to your friend for not visiting on his birthday

Appologise to your friend for not visiting on his birthday Bjp9
Dear ali, I hope you are in pink of your health. I would like to wish you happy birthday and best wishes, hope you had a blast with your family and friends. I want to appologise that I couldn't attend your birthday party due to some serious family disputes. I was going through a turmoil and it was very difficult for me to cope up with the pressure and court hearing every other day. I had to meet with the lawyers almost every day to prepare for the courts proceedings regarding the property issue which I had already informed you about before. I never actually forgot about your birthday and I had tried desperately to visit you but the lawyers were not at all supporting and would not allow to delay the meetings. I will try my best to visit you as soon as i pass through these thick and thins and would definitely makeup for it. Forgive me as nothing was under my controll. take care of yourself, your family and friends. Your best friendFahd
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
ali
, I hope you are in pink of your health. I would like to wish you happy birthday and best wishes, hope you had a blast with your family and friends. I want to
Possible spelling mistake found.
appologise
that I couldn't attend your birthday party due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious family disputes.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was going through a turmoil and it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for me to cope up with the pressure and court hearing every other day.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with the lawyers almost every day to prepare for the courts proceedings regarding the property issue which I had already informed you about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
never actually forgot about your birthday and I had tried
desperately
to visit you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the lawyers were not at all supporting and would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to delay the meetings.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
will try my best to visit you as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
pass through these thick and thins and would definitely makeup for it. Forgive me as nothing was under my
Possible spelling mistake found.
controll
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
take
care of yourself, your family and friends. Your best
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
friendFahd

IELTS letter Appologise to your friend for not visiting on his birthday

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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