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You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. v.6

You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. v. 6
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently been granted admission to your college in the Physics department and I am writing with respect to my accommodation requirements in the college residence hall. I am a female student from Ireland and would be travelling to the UK for the first time. Hence, I would like to spend my first year in a Hall of Residence so that I can stay close to the campus and socialise with other students. I would prefer the hall to be a single-sex, female-only residence and with the full board so that I won't have to worry about cooking for myself. In addition, I require a vegetarian choice as I am a vegetarian. If a college residence with the amenities mentioned is not available, I would be satisfied in a hall with kitchens so I can cook. Additionally, I would not like to share my room and I would prefer en-suite facilities if you have halls offering this. Thanking you for your assistance in advance. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Anna Katerina
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have recently
been granted
admission to your college in the Physics
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
department and
I am writing with respect to my accommodation requirements in the college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residence
hall.

I am a female student from Ireland and would be travelling to the UK for the
first
time.
Hence
, I would like to spend my
first
year in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hall
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Residence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can stay close to the campus and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with other students. I would prefer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hall
to be a single-sex, female-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residence
and with the full board
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I won't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about cooking for myself.
In addition
, I require a vegetarian choice as I am a vegetarian.

If a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residence
with the amenities mentioned is not available, I would
be satisfied
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hall
with kitchens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can cook.
Additionally
, I would not like to share my room and I would prefer en-suite facilities if you have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
halls
offering this.

Thanking you for your assistance in advance. I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Anna
Possible spelling mistake found.
Katerina
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS letter You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. v. 6

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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