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You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. v.4

You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. v. 4
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to inform you that I have recently got admitted to your college and my class will begin on next January. And for that, I want to reserve my accommodation in your college Hall of Residence before I reach the United Kingdom to join my class. For my accommodation, I would like to have a single room with an attached bathroom and kitchen. The laundry service should be available as I do not want to do my own laundry. If such accommodation is not possible then I could go for a shared accommodation but the room should be large enough. Coming to the food, I would prefer a vegetarian menu as I am a vegetarian. If it is not provided by the college canteen then I would like to get access to the kitchen to cook my own food. The above-stated requirements are my priority but if they do not match with your offered facilities, I would prefer to know your available options in advance so that I can make up my mind. If a seat in the college resident is not possible, I can stay with a couple near the college who would respect my privacy. Thank you in advance. I hope to hear from you soon. Yours faithfully, Mansoor Afzal
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I have recently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
admitted to your college and my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
on
next
January. And for that, I want to reserve my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
in your college Hall of Residence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I reach the United Kingdom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

For my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
, I would like to have a single room with an attached bathroom and kitchen. The laundry service should be available as I do not want to do my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
laundry. If such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
is not possible then I could go for a shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the room should be large
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

Coming to the food, I would prefer a vegetarian menu as I am a vegetarian. If it is not provided by the college canteen then I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to the kitchen to cook my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food.

The above-stated requirements are my priority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they do not match with your offered facilities, I would prefer to know your available options in advance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up my mind. If a seat in the college resident is not possible, I can stay with a couple near the college who would respect my privacy.

Thank you in advance. I hope to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Mansoor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afzal
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS letter You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. v. 4

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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