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You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. v.2

You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently been granted admission to your college in the Physics department and I am writing with respect to my accommodation requirements in the college residence hall. I am a female student from Ireland and would be travelling to the UK for the first time. Hence, I would like to spend my first year in a Hall of Residence so that I can stay close to the campus and socialise with other students. I would prefer the hall to be a single-sex, female-only residence and with the full board so that I won't have to worry about cooking for myself. In addition, I require a vegetarian choice as I am a vegetarian. If a college residence with the amenities mentioned is not available, I would be satisfied in a hall with kitchens so I can cook. Additionally, I would not like to share my room and I would prefer en-suite facilities if you have halls offering this. Thanking you for your assistance in advance. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Anna Katerina
Dear Sir or Madam,

I have recently
been granted
admission to your college in the Physics
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
department and
I am writing with respect to my accommodation requirements in the college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residence
hall.

I am a female student from Ireland and would be travelling to the UK for the
first
time.
Hence
, I would like to spend my
first
year in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hall
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Residence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can stay close to the campus and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with other students. I would prefer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hall
to be a single-sex, female-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residence
and with the full board
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I won't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about cooking for myself.
In addition
, I require a vegetarian choice as I am a vegetarian.

If a college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residence
with the amenities mentioned is not available, I would
be satisfied
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hall
with kitchens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can cook.
Additionally
, I would not like to share my room and I would prefer en-suite facilities if you have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
halls
offering this.

Thanking you for your assistance in advance. I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
faithfully
,

Anna
Possible spelling mistake found.
Katerina
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS letter You are going to study at a college in the UK next year. You would like to stay in the college Hall of Residence. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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