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"You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter, give details of your study plans, explain why you want to get a part-time job, suggest how your friend could help you find a job."

"You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter, give details of your study plans, explain why you want to get a part-time job, suggest how your friend could help you find a job. " g7bg
Dear Roxy, How are you? I hope you are healthy and happy. I'm writing to let you know that I will move to Toronto, Canada in a few months to study and ask you some help to find me a part-time job. I have enrolled at Toronto University and the course duration is 2 years full-time, majoring in hotel management. My classes would be 5 days per week and 4 hours per day from 9 am to 1 pm. As I will have a leasure time everyday, I would like to avail this opportunity to do some part-time work. This will help me in covering the cost of my study, rental of accommodation and household expenses. I was wondering if you could ask around among your friends and colleagues to see if anyone wants a house-cleaner or nanny for their children. I look forward to seeing you soon. Best Regards, Shawi
Dear Roxy,

How are you? I hope you are healthy and happy. I'm writing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to Toronto, Canada in a few months to study and ask you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to find me a part-time job.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have enrolled at Toronto University and the course duration is 2 years full-time, majoring in hotel management. My classes would be 5 days per week and 4 hours per day from 9 am to 1 pm.

As I will have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
leasure
time
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, I would like to avail this opportunity to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part-time work. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me in covering the cost of my study, rental of accommodation and household expenses.

I was wondering if you could ask around among your friends and colleagues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if anyone wants a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
-cleaner or nanny for their children.

I look forward to seeing you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Best Regards,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shawi

IELTS letter "You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter, give details of your study plans, explain why you want to get a part-time job, suggest how your friend could help you find a job. "

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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