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You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job 1XNy
Hello Joe, I hope this letter finds you well! I am writing you to break some awesome news and also to ask for your help if possible. So, as you know, I had been looking for some affordable postgraduate program to continue with my studies. I did find one in your home town and I am very excited to start in September. It is an extended course with dissertation at the end, therefore I plan to move to your country to live and study for two years. Eventhough, I have got a scholarship from university that covers fees and accommodation expances, I would still need some funds to cover my cost of living. Therefore, I want to take a part-time job. I know that you work in a large IT firm and that has an open position for part-timers. I would really appreciate if you could write me recomendation letter, so that I attach it to my CV before sending it to HR department. I hope to hear from you soon! Best regards, Tom
Hello Joe,

I hope this letter finds you well!

I am writing you to break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
awesome news and
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
if possible.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as you know, I had been looking for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
affordable postgraduate program to continue with my studies. I did find one in your home
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
town and
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
in September. It is an extended course with dissertation at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
therefore
I plan to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to your country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and study for two years.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a scholarship from university that covers fees and accommodation
Possible spelling mistake found.
expances
, I would
still
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds to cover my cost of living.
Therefore
, I want to take a part-time job.

I know that you work in a large IT firm and that has an open position for part-timers. I would
really
appreciate if you could write me
Possible spelling mistake found.
recomendation
letter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I attach it to my CV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
sending it to HR department.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hope to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
!

Best regards,

Tom
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IELTS letter You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
173 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job