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To succeed in a business, one needs to know math. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To succeed in a business, one needs to know math. 5XjP
Dear Joe, it's been a couple of weeks since I left your town and I can't forget the incredible moments we shared together. To be honest with you, I feel quite nostalgic as the memories we made refuse to move out of my mind. Actually, during my stay, I was mesmerized by the scenic beauty of the beach resorts we visited together. Besides, the souvenirs I purchased at the duty-free shops in the vicinity of your neighborhood were appealing to my siblings. By the way, I can never forget the rainy day when we did sightseeing. Had we taken umbrellas with us, we would have been able to stay much longer. Anyway, the walk in the rain was much fun per se. Although I missed you to death, the good news is that summer vacation is around the corner. So, why don't you pop round to my place? It'd be great if you came in July, so that we would be able to attend Kivodir festival in which local people do fireworks and make a bonfire at night. Moreover, a wide variety of summer fruit drinks and shakes are served. I'm pretty positive we're going to have a veil of time. Hope you can make it because it won't be the same without you. Get back to me as soon as possible. Take care, Sepideh
Dear Joe,

it's been a couple of weeks since I
left
your town and I can't forget the incredible moments we shared together. To be honest with you, I feel quite nostalgic as the memories we made refuse to
move
out of my mind.

Actually, during my stay, I
was mesmerized
by the scenic beauty of the beach resorts we visited together.
Besides
, the souvenirs I
purchased
at the duty-free shops in the vicinity of your neighborhood were appealing to my siblings. By the way, I can never forget the rainy day when we
did sightseeing
. Had we taken umbrellas with us, we would have been able to stay much longer. Anyway, the walk in the rain was much fun per se.

Although I missed you to death, the
good
news is that summer vacation is around the corner.
So
, why don't you pop round to my place? It'd be great if you came in July,
so
that we would be able to attend
Kivodir
festival in which local
people
do fireworks and
make
a bonfire at night.
Moreover
, a wide variety of summer fruit drinks and shakes
are served
. I'm pretty
positive
we're going to have a veil of time.

Hope you can
make
it
because
it won't be the same without you.
Get
back to me as
soon
as possible.

Take care,

Sepideh
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IELTS letter To succeed in a business, one needs to know math.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
224 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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