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You are going on a short course to a training college abroad. It is a college that you have not been to before. Write a letter to the accommodation officer. In your letter, give details of your course and your arrival/departure date explain your accommodation needs ask for information about getting to and from the college

You are going on a short course to a training college abroad. It is a college that you have not been to before. Write a letter to the accommodation officer. In your letter, give details of your course and your arrival/departure date explain your accommodation needs ask for information about getting to and from the college meaA
Dear Sir, I have joined your college for the one-month computer course. I will be arriving at the Dubai International Airport on 24th May 2021. I believe you are the right person to whom I can address my concerns regarding the accommodation that will be provided to me. I understand that this a standard accommodation provided by the college. However, I would like to request some extra facilities, if that is possible. I read on your website that mobile and internet facilities will be not be available for students. As I am a working person, I would need these facilities and I am intending to take this computer course for enhancing my career requirements. Hence, I would request you to allot me a different room without the regular students. Apart from the above mentioned request, I would also like to know about the transportation service to and from the college. Please provide me the details for the same. Looking forward to receiving a positive response from your side. Yours Faithfully, Mary John
Dear Sir,

I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
your college for the one-month computer course. I will be arriving at the Dubai International Airport on 24th May 2021.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
believe you are the right person to whom I can address my concerns regarding the accommodation that will
be provided
to me.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
understand that this
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "standard accommodation".
a standard accommodation
provided by the college.
However
, I would like to request
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra facilities, if
that is
possible. I read on your website that mobile and internet facilities will be not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
available for students. As I am a working person, I would need these facilities and I am intending to take this computer course for enhancing my career requirements.
Hence
, I would request you to allot me a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
room without the regular students.

Apart from the above mentioned request, I would
also
like to know about the transportation service to and from the college.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
provide me the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
for the same.

Looking forward to receiving a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response from your side.

Yours
Faithfully
,

Mary John
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IELTS letter You are going on a short course to a training college abroad. It is a college that you have not been to before. Write a letter to the accommodation officer. In your letter, give details of your course and your arrival/departure date explain your accommodation needs ask for information about getting to and from the college

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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