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You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. v. 3

I have recently agreed to rent your apartment and supposed to move there on August 1st. I am afraid I cannot do so in August due to some personal problems. I am hoping that you would allow me to move into your apartment at the beginning of September instead. I am Koharu Rio, signed a rental agreement with you on July 15th and I am due to move into your apartment C4 located in Cranberry Street on 1st of August. I have already paid you two months rent upfront. However, the sudden news of my mother-in-law's sickness propels us to change our plan. I along with my husband and children will travel to Japan sometime next week. I am not sure how long we will be staying there but it would not be less than a week I guess. After we get back from Japan, my husband and I both will be terribly busy to cover our work at our offices and hence shifting our house would be impossible for us. I would request you to consider my circumstances and allow me to move into your apartment at the beginning of September. I look forward to hearing from you soon regarding this. Yours sincerely, Koharu Rio

IELTS letter You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. v.3

I have recently
agreed
to rent your apartment and supposed to
move
there on August 1st. I am afraid I cannot do
so
in August due to
some
personal problems.
I
am hoping that you would
allow
me to
move
into your apartment at the beginning of September
instead
.
I
am
Koharu
Rio, signed a rental agreement with you on July
15th and
I am due to
move
into your apartment C4 located in Cranberry Street on 1st of August.
I
have already paid you two months rent upfront.
However
, the sudden news of my mother-in-law's sickness propels us to
change
our plan. I along with my husband and children will travel to Japan sometime
next
week. I am not sure how long we will be staying there
but
it would not be less than a week I guess. After we
get
back from Japan, my husband and I both will be
terribly
busy to cover our work at our offices and
hence
shifting our
house
would be impossible for us. I would request you to consider my circumstances and
allow
me to
move
into your apartment at the beginning of September. I look forward to hearing from you
soon
regarding this. Yours
sincerely
,
Koharu
Rio
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
6 paragraphs
205 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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